My Methods

Here are the methods I use in my practice...

• Providing Psycho-Education
• Supporting Self-Awareness
• Supporting Self-Management
• Facilitating the Process

I will inform you of or direct you to any psychological education or knowledge that is relevant to our conversation and will help you understand things better or see it from a new perspective.

In supporting you to develop your self-awareness I will use summarising, paraphrasing, clarifying, questioning, and gently confronting some things you might say in session (this should feel quite conversational and maybe gently exploratory). This self-awareness can be extended further to become more emotionally focused also. In this case, I might focus a little more on how something made you feel or bringing your attention to the emotional side of things in general. This is straightforward when dealing with thoughts and feelings you are consciously aware of. I may notice or get an intuitive feeling that there are unconscious forces at work. In this case, I would proceed carefully and keep a watch for certain themes that occur in the things you tell me before bringing this to your awareness (in case I was wrong. Time would tell.). This can apply in many ways but, for example:

• -A client might keep using the same word to describe a situation. This word may have more significance than a client is currently aware. It may run very deep.
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• -A client may tell me all their exes were addicts or drank too much. This can be an indication of an unconscious desire of that client to resolve a problem with someone from their past. They may keep unconsciously selecting certain partners because a part of them is trying to fix a past relationship with a parent or an ex.
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• -How a person truly feels about themselves may not be conscious. I may notice a behavioural pattern that is indicative of a person who is on a destructive path. They may be guilty of something and trying to punish themselves over something that happened in their past but they may not actually be aware of their behaviour.

Nothing in those examples may apply to you of course but it's just to give you an idea of how deep the rabbit hole goes, so to speak...how deep and revealing the counselling process can be for some people. Everyone is uniquely different.

In supporting you to change an emotion (e.g. fear/anger), thought pattern (e.g. "I'm not good enough") or behaviour (e.g. acts of aggression), first you must be aware of what you want to change and why you want to change it (that's where the previous 'self-awareness' part plays a significant role). I typically use the thought-feelings-behaviour model of personality to support someone in changing their behaviour (changing one of these can affect/change the others). Generally, we are a set of habits that keep playing out again and again like a loop. When we think, we create chemicals (feelings) and these feelings reinforce thoughts. It's a cycle that can be broken with practice. Physical behaviour is usually the result of the thinking-feeling cycle telling us to be consistent in our behaviour too. Each reinforces the other. So breaking one can help break the cycle. Breaking the behaviour and thought pattern will eventually alter our emotions. While it is very challenging, it can be a very rewarding and healing transformation.

It should also be said that there are two other parts to counselling. I'll put them as questions you can ask during sessions:

• Are my therapeutic goals on track?
• Is the therapeutic process going okay?

While it's important to make sure that we are moving in a direction that is meeting your therapeutic goals (or finding them), the 'process' is key also. For example, like any relationship (professional or not), one person might feel that their boundaries were crossed or they might take offense to something or feel hurt. In this case, it's good to say it and clear the air. It creates a great opportunity to mend the relationship and this can be powerful. However, the process may be more likely related to mild dislikes or preferences or needs that a client has that are not being met. Sometimes, I might use 'the process' to support you in your own interpersonal relationships, e.g. if you and your partner were having misunderstandings or if you wanted to develop your social skills in a general or specific way, it can often be useful to reflect on the process during session, i.e. our interaction and how awkward or comfortable you or I feel in different situations within our sessions. This can be quite revealing and support personal and interpersonal awareness. Also, I will ask periodically if there is anything you would like to do differently or change. A healthy and happy process makes the journey of achieving your therapeutic goals and needs better and a more enjoyable experience (as much as counselling can be enjoyable!). I will try to be as sensitive as I can anyway and read between the lines but feel free to say if you have a preference or if you have an idea or suggestion about the 'process' part of it.